"Unterhaltszahlungen? Von Frauen???"

Die Huffington Post, eines der führenden amerikanischen Blogs (politisch eher links stehend), berichtet über die Fassungslosigkeit vieler besserverdienenden Frauen, wenn sie nach einer Scheidung zu Unterhaltszahlungen verpflichtet werden. Ein Auszug aus dem Artikel des bekannten Familienrechtlers und Scheidungsanwalts Fred Silberberg:

A while back I was in court with my female client defending a request by her husband that she be ordered to pay him spousal support. My client was irate over the fact that her husband would even think to make such a request, notwithstanding the fact that her net worth and earnings significantly outgrossed his. As we argued the case to the judge, my client kept telling me that this was ridiculous, a man should not be seeking spousal support from a woman. I told her that in my view, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander and while as a principal I, myself, was opposed to spousal support, if one spouse could get it from the other, it had to go both ways.

This conversation reminded me of a similar one I had at an earlier time with a female colleague of mine. Her husband sought spousal support from her and she was equally outraged over it. As she put it "it's not something you bargain for when you get married". I reminded her that most people did not bargain for divorce at all, and that, while I was sympathetic to the fact that she did not want to pay the support, there had to be equal treatment under the law. If she could get it, why shouldn't he also be able to?

In my more than 23 years of practicing family law I have heard just about all there is to hear when someone comes into my office. These were not the first times I have heard this complaint from women about spousal support. It also is not the first time I have heard similar statements when it comes to custody. Just last week a female client told me that she did not understand why her husband had a right to share equal time with their children when she was the mother. She complained to me that if they were still married, he wouldn't have equal time, he never spent that much time with the kids before. I told her that this is one of the consequences of divorce, if you want to get divorced, you have to understand that the other party has rights just like you do and that one of those rights, is the right to spend equal time with the children if their father is willing and able to do so.

These talks in my office really emphasize the double-standard that seems to exist in the minds of many women caught in the midst of a divorce. It is totally acceptable to have the man pay spousal support, but not the woman. It is totally acceptable to have the mother raise the kids, but not the father. All of this makes me wonder, what was the point of the battle for equal rights?

Hier geht es weiter. (Durchaus lesenswert, Fred Silberberg hat einen sehr klaren Blick auf Themen wie Geschlechtergerechtigkeit und die Männerbewegung.)

So wie Silberberg es schildert, scheinen sich bestürzend viele Frauen die Gleichberechtigung vorzustellen: Wir Frauen bekommen all die Vorteile der bisherigen Männerrolle, können aber gleichzeitig alle Vorteile der bisherigen Frauenrolle behalten. Wer so naiv denkt, braucht sich nicht zu wundern, wenn er mit den Folgen der Emanzipation genauso unzufrieden ist wie zuvor.