"Jurassic-Park"-Star entschuldigt sich im voraus bei allen, die von irgendwas gekränkt sein könnten

Die Dauerempörung der Political-Correctness-Polizei war im letzten Jahr nicht zu überhören, was viele Journalisten dazu brachte, hingerissen von einem "Wieder-Erstarken des Feminismus" zu schwadronieren. Um sämtlichen Social Justice Warriors von Anfang an zuvorzukommen, bittet der Jurassic-Park-Star Chris Pratt deshalb auf seiner Facebookseite schon jetzt zutiefst zerkirscht um Entschuldigung, auch wenn er noch nicht weiß wofür:

I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming ‪#‎JurassicWorld‬ press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s).

I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can't say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don't want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed "JurassicGate" is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen (again).

Pratts Facebook-Bitte um Verzeihung wurde zu dem Zeitpunkt, da dieser Blogbeitrag entsteht, von 111.318 Personen mit "gefällt mir" bewertet und 10.579mal geteilt.

In Deutschland berichtet unter anderem der STERN über Pratts Entschuldigung – also genau das Blatt, das hierzulande mit der Brüderle-Skandalisierung denselben Irrsinn losgetreten hatte.