Dienstag, September 15, 2009

"Die Ego-Epidemie: Wie mehr und mehr von uns Frauen sich in das Gefühl steigern, wie großartig wir sind"

Die umfassenden Forschungen zweier führender Psychologen ergaben, dass Frauen heute egozentrischer und narzisstischer sind als je zuvor. Diese Erkenntnisse nutzt Lucy Taylor in der britischen Daily Mail zu einer lange überfälligen Selbstkritik ihres Geschlechts:

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are. We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance. Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere. Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

(...) But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single. A 39-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship. A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female - independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating.

She pointed out that she owned a gorgeous flat with gorgeous things in it, had a nice car, was a member of a fancy gym and wore designer dresses. "I do what I like, when I like," she said. She'd been told, and appears to believe, that she's too successful and too well-educated for most men.

(...) Of course, there is nothing wrong with having high expectations. But being delusional and having a totally unrealistic blueprint are an altogether different matter.

And they often go hand in hand with acute ego-itis. As Margot Medhurt knows only too well. She is the founder of Yours Sincerely, an Edinburgh-based personal dating and introduction agency for professionals. She has almost 30 years' experience in the industry and has noticed a significant rise in this phenomenon in recent years.

"It used to be that most women who joined a dating agency had a pretty good idea of where they stood in the eligibility stakes," she said. "But in the past few years, I've noticed that there are a significant number of women who don't. They tend to be in their 30s, and there is a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them. They are often very plain, but see themselves as being absolutely fabulous, exceptional people. They invariably reject every guy's profile I send them. But if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay. There is disbelief. They are really saying: I'm so fabulous. How dare he turn me down?"

(Margot Medhurt) said she had a eureka moment when she read a recent article about the rise in narcissism among women. According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women. An estimated ten per cent of the population suffers from narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder.

The symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self-importance; the belief that he or she is special or unique and in some way better - either intellectually or physically - than others; a requirement for excessive admiration; a sense of entitlement, whether to fame, fortune, success and happiness or simply to special treatment; enviousness of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her; an inability to empathise; an inability to admit a mistake; and haughty behaviour or attitude.

Naja, warum sollten die Frauen nicht irgendwann anfangen zu glauben, was ihnen unsere Medien ständig erzählen: dass sie die Alpha-Mädchen, die "neue F-Klasse", die weiblichen Super-Singles seien, ihnen das begonnene Jahrtausend gehören würde, Männer hingegen auf einer früheren Stufe der Evolution stehengebliebene "halbe Wesen" seien, die überhaupt nur dann eine Frau finden würden, wenn sie nach deren Pfeife tanzen (wie nicht nur Ursula von der Leyen gerne behauptet, sondern noch vergangene Woche etwa die taz in Vereinigung mit BRIGITTE und Co.). Ein Verlag wie Krüger hat "Frauen sind besser" nicht ohne Grund zu seinem Werbemotto gemacht. Genausowenig habe ich ohne Grund meinem ersten geschlechterpolitischen Buch vor acht Jahren den Titel "Sind Frauen bessere Menschen?" gegeben. Diese Entwicklung konnte man damals schon wahrnehmen, es wollte nur niemand darüber reden – weil es ja frauenfeindlich gewesen wäre, die Damenwelt nicht für Übermenschen zu halten. In Wahrheit ist aber auch kollektiver Narzissmus lediglich eine Persönlichkeitsstörung und weiter nichts.

Hier findet man den ausführlichen (sehr langen) Artikel aus der "Daily Mail".


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